there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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