but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
mondays should just be called national damage control day
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
