they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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