As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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