I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
