I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
