4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
