community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
