Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
