Swine flu. Run for my life!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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