feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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