Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
