when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
