Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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