you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Randomize
