I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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