She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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