I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
