Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
