the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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