We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
