I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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