i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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