Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
