you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
