Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
