Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
