Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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