remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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