Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
