I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I accidentally had phone sex last night
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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