alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
