Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
