i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
