He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Damn victory sex feels great
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
