it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
