I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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