he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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