There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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