And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
