you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
