If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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