I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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