I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
