do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
