she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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