is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
