I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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