There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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