This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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