Your favorite bartender is back from prision
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
