And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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